Thursday, July 24, 2008

44 miles

next week or so marks the one year anniversary of moving to California, in honor of this event, I thought i would reflect on an Oregonians' view of socal...

My opinion might have been jaded because we moved down here in august in the middle of fire season, with no less than 4 fires burning within 20 miles of my new apartment. Also, I came from a town that got it's first traffic light my junior year of high school, and now I live NEXT to a traffic light (I can see it from my bedroom) on a road larger than my home town.

I have learned a few things,

-I can merge into a 6 line highway with rapid deceleration and car/semi-truck avoidance.

-I now understand that it is not as hot down here as I thought (ask again in 4 weeks) and I am able to walk around in the burning sun at lunch time on my little lunchy walk without whimpering or crying.

-Woodworking can happen in the dinning room.

-There is a limit to the number of hours you can listen to npr in one day (it is about 1.5 hours... which i do just about every day in my 2 hour commute, that last half hour has to be 6 of the 10 top hits the radio is looping right now).

-Running in the dark is doable if it is 70-80 degrees in the dark. Beer does not exist in socal, the locals have heard of it, but they do not understand what it is and why you would want it; they continue to drink yellow fizzy water.

-Do not eat at a restaurant that replaces the letter "c" for the letter "k". (kalifornia kitchen)

-If you want to watch a movie on it's opening day, be there exactly 8 hours before the show starts and bring many in-n-out burgers with you to eat in your seat. When you leave you should leave any and all trash where it lays. Oh, and pay $10+tax.

-If you plan on biking, forget about it. The DMV test requires you to merge into bike lanes to make a right hand turn. The rule really does not apply because there are no bike lanes...

- Water is abundant in the desert. (ok, no it is not, people just water like it is...)

- The apartment swimming pool is for the kids.

- Don't grow a tomato plant on your small porch. I am growing one and it is larger than me now.

- Expect to pay 7-10 bucks for lunch no mater what kind of food it is.

- Don't grow your hair long, no one understands it.

- If you wear a fedora to Low's hardware, every sales floor person will remember you. that is both good and bad...

- Wash your car or it might be towed because if it is dirty, it must be broken.

- Butter costs $5 per box.

- Go tournaments are awesome. !!! I am missing the largest go tournament of the year because it is in portland... check out the go congress 2008!!

- If you can think of something you want to buy, chances are there is a specialty store that sells only that thing within 20 miles of you (there is a plastics store!! they only sell raw plastics and plastic things).

-The mail man will try his best to try to break your netflix dvds. I have never before had to pull/rip my news papers and precious bills out of the little box as one solid object.

- Fedex/UPS will try to break your package and/or potted plants by throwing it over the fence.

- Turn off the air conditioning at an art reception. The sweat is an ice breaker.

- If you want to fight with your girlfriend/wife, make sure to do it on the sidewalk as loud as possible.

- Don't expect to find any items on the shelf at a 99 cent store, they are on the ground in little piles sorted by color.

- The beach is awesome, just watch out for the dead seal.

- I still don't understand California.

Oh, and I finished that shelf I have been talking about, lap joins and all... here it is:


Meg said...

I was reading this, laughing in the living room and Mladen yells from the "Are you reading Scott's blog?"



daddylikeyblog said...

This is hilarious.

Robert said...

California isn't to be understood. Oh, they do have the occasional beer, but their wine is far better. Better than their beer. Not better than our wine. Definitely not better than our beer.

The angle that picture was taken makes it look like your shelf wants to lean to my right... But it is holding shit off the floor! Success!

Grace said...

I'm really sorry you don't have a burgerville.